Painting fungi green
by Apple with a touch of pear
Summary: To her family, Rose seems to represent everything they are not. She is quiet, thoughtful - not to mention Slytherin. Rose tries to go through life without causing trouble. Until one day, when the realisation that the people who see her as nothing but a piece of amusement aren't going to back off until she does something, hits her literally in the face.
1. Introduction

**Dear musefan929, for whose competition I started writing this story. I am going to navigate you through this story so you don' t have to read all of it, because I know that the competition makes you hard pressed for time. I wrote this for your first prompt, and the only thing you need to read of it is everything in_ italics_, because that is the letter itself. **

**Everyone else, thank you for clicking on my story. Please enjoy, and let me know what you think. Bad, good, suggestions, criticism? Every feedback is welcome. **

* * *

The only warmth around her was that of the blanket draped around her. The three girls flitting around the room showed none of that warmth. They were the ones that made the room feel chilly and cold. They were like butterflies made to suck away the colour from everything, so they would seem even more beautiful in contrast. And cold they made Rose.

Maybe it was the icy looks they shot her from time to time, or the coldness they had wrapped around themselves, shielding them from any harmful things others could shoot. She would never know which one, all she knew that their hostility towards her was clear as ice.

Rose might need to wrap that same cold around herself soon. Maybe that would keep her safe.

She turned her attention back to the half written letter in front of her. She'd been writing it for some time, but it was hard to find words.

It was a letter to her parents. She was going home in a week and had yet to sent a single letter home. Her cousins had been so kind as to sent them for her.

* * *

_Dear Mother and Father_

* * *

The first four words were enough to make rose's hands itch and burn to tear the paper up and throw it in the fire. She had done that a few times, but there was no better way that she had come up with to start the letter. And this letter needed an introduction.

* * *

_I am sorry I haven't written all year. I was occupied keeping up with my studies and found little time to spent otherwise. I trust my cousins have kept you up to date with news._

* * *

Because there was no option that they had not. Rose knew her family better than anyone. She had always been one to observe and learn. Her family had often referred to her as a wallflower that had the tendency of pulling itself free from the wall from time to time.

Sorry she wasn't for not writing. Sorry she was for what she knew the two of them had heard about her.

* * *

_My studies have fared well and I have had little troubles throughout the year. I am proud to say that my grades are on top of the class. I am sorry that for to accomplish that, I had to stay at Hogwarts during the holidays, but, as I hope Al told you, I felt it was necessary._

* * *

She was ashamed to admit that she had, indeed, been hiding. Not that they had minded. Rose could almost see the play that had played back home after Al had told her parents the news of her staying at school. Her father would have been the red hotheaded man with hair on fire with his passion. Her mother would be the one hopelessly trying to calm him down with reason, but reason was the one thing that would not quench his fire.

She'd bet everything she had that they were both secretly relieved she had not come home. For different reasons, mind you.

"Rose." A cold sliver reached her within her protective bunker of blankets.

"Hm?" She looked over and saw Missy, a girl with an attitude true to her name, looking at her with her chin slightly raised. She had mastered looking down on people while having a distinct lack of height.

"Seen my other shoe?" She held up a red shoe with a high heel. Higher than Rose could even dream of walking on.

Rose shook her head and asked her if she had checked the common room. Missy scrambled downstairs, leaving Rose alone again with her letter.

* * *

_I hope you and Hugo find yourselves in good health. I am anxious for the return home to come quickly, and have missed all three of you very much._

* * *

There was nothing more she could make of it. The words had rejoined the origin of the paper. They were wooden and stiff. insincerity seemed to bolt the words, and distance underlined them.

She had yet to sent a single letter, where her parents had sent one.

It had been in her first week, and it hadn't been a pleasant one. She had neglected to sent her parents the burning letter telling them of her sorting, and they had found out through Harry. Saying that they had not been pleased was like saying that a tsunami was a broken water current. Her mother had been angry because she had not written. Her father had been because the Sortinghat had placed Rose into the wrong house.

When Rose had first read the letter she was convinced it must have been a joke. It must have been Freddy and James. It must have been someone, trying to pull a trick on her, and she would not fall for it, because her parents would never write this. They just wouldn't.

But after denial, realisation comes. She had refused to write after that. She did not want to see them. She did not want to face people who wrote her off, just because she had, by some odd twist of fate, been sorted into Slytherin instead of Gryffindor.

But she had to write at least once before she went home, didn't she? To tell them she was still sound and breathing. To announce that she was still there.

* * *

_Love, _

_Rose_

* * *

She looked up from the parchment, screaming at her to burn him and tried to mute the sound for her. She folded the letter and carefully sealed. There, done and done. Nothing she could change about it. Not that she wanted. It had been a hard letter to write, probably the hardest one ever for her, and she wasn't eager to rewrite it at all.

"Found it." Missy appeared out of nothing, the same look on her face as before.

Rose blinked and frowned. the question in her eyes was clear. Why are you telling me?

"Thanks." Missy said. The word sounded about as sincere as Rose's letter.

Rose stood up without a word and left, leaving Missy standing there. She needed to post a letter she hated. She didn't have the stomach for the fake Slytherin formalities at the moment.


	2. Of arrogance and acceptance

The way to the owlery was longest from the Slytherin common rooms, and by the time Rose reached it, she had experienced the change from the winter in the dungeons to the summer that roared above the ground.

It was still chilly with the owls though, in the tower that was almost as high as the lower layers of clouds. Rose was glad for it. She liked the chilly air above the summer heat.

After looking around, she chose the slowest looking bird that she could find and tied the letter to his leg. He looked at her with eager eyes, telling her that he did not get many jobs. She scratched his neck.

" There is no rush." She whispered. "Take as long as you need."

He looked at her oddly and hooted. Rose smiled and watched him fly off. With her luck, he would be fast because of his pure eagerness. She should have chosen one of the exhausted owls that flew too many miles every day. damn damn _damn_.Maybe her parents would have time to write back now. Maybe that letter would be red.

Passing time, she looked for any familiar faces in the owlery and only found good old Errol, the family bird that no one actually used because he would bite you for weeks after you did.

She figured her cousins all had their owls out on errands.

She played with Errol until he got sick of her and flew off and she needed to look for a new excuse not to make the long trip back to a common room devoid of warmth.

It wasn't that Rose had no friends in her house. She had little. The rest left her alone most of the time. For them, it was better to stay clear of her. They did not know where she fit in their games and it was never good to not know.

Her friends had gone to the library to finish their heaps of homework, and Rose had not joined them because she did not want to do all the assignments a second time.

Her eyes fell on the window.

* * *

A few minutes later, she lay on the slanting roof, watching the forest and fields below.

The gryffindor team was practising at the quidditch pitch and there were groups of people hanging around the black lake.

A perfect summer day, if a bit clouded.

She closed her eyes and breathed.

* * *

It was dark when she opened her eyes again, and Rose knew she had missed dinner. She made her way back through the window, only fearing she'd fall half a dozen times, and began the journey back to her bed.

A thousand birds flew around. A flickering fire went out. A curse rose. Rose reached the door. Stopped. Turned.

"Scorpius?" she asked.

"Rose?" he asked.

The fire burned again. Rose could see Scorpius' pale face a few feet away from her. She looked at his hand but saw no letter.

"I hadn't expected to see you here," she said.

He let out a sound that was as unattractive as it got. "You're one to talk. I'd sooner expected to see you sitting at the trunk of the whomping willow than here."

Rose lifted an eyebrow. "You can do better than that."

Scorpius took up on the challenge. "I had sooner expected to see you through the window in the common room than here."

Rose burst out laughing. "Good one."

Scorpius smirked and looked down on her. "Of course it is. I came up with it."

There was no falseness in his arrogance. To him, this was as natural as breathing. He was better than her and thus he was allowed to look down on her. The fact that they were friends had little to do with the matter.

Rose ignored it.

"Escort me to the dungeons?" Scorpius asked, holding his arm out.

Rose nodded and took his arm without thinking about it. "Sure."

Neither of them talked of the letters they had sent. They were both too relieved that the other had not asked after it for their curiosity to take over. Rose asked if their studies had fared well and Scorpius bullied her into helping to complete one piece of homework that he had not been able to figure out. By the time they had reached the common room, Scorpius had draped his arm around her shoulders positively.

There weren't that many people awake, and I told Malfoy I was going to bed and, if he could manage waking up at a timely hour for once, I'd help him with his homework because I did not want to waste an entire day on him.

He huffed something, made a snarky remark that slid of her and said goodnight.

* * *

The following days went smooth for Rose. She spent her time reading, dreaming and avoiding, much as she had her entire year.

Before she knew it, she was saying goodbye to Scorpius and Scarlet on the Hogwarts station.

Scorpius and Scarlet. Scarlet and Scorpius. They sound nice together, she thought as Scarlet was squeezing the air out of her.

"I'm going to miss you." Rose said.

" I'm going to miss you too." Scarlet' s voice held the controlled quiver of a sob. she didn't cry of course. What would everyone think of something so embarrassing?

" Do you promise you'll write?" she asked for the dozenth time. Rose was afraid that the tales she had told about her family had made Scarlet think that she would be running around with a broom all summer, with no time to do anything besides eating, quidditch and fight with each other.

"Yes Scarlet. Just like the last ten times, I promise I'll write."

Scarlet let her go and rose felt the sensation of air returning to her, like her body had been in a vacuüm.

Scorpius smirked and gave her a brief hug when she turned to him. "Do write," he said, "I want some assurance that the fungi don't kill you. I don't know who else to ask to help with homework."

Fungi. That' s what he called her family. She understood where he was coming from. Fungi were red, multiplied quickly and were impossible to get rid of.

"As long as you write back you git. And a little more than 'that' s nice. See you when school starts' would be nice."

"I will write how much I please."

Rose rolled her eyes and smiled. "Have a good summer, git."

She waved as they went to their parents. Scorpius strutted and Scarlet skipped.

She sighed and knew she could no longer postpone what was to come.

She turned to the coven that was her family.

* * *

**So this is still part of the introduction, and so is the next chapter. The main story is going to take place in her fifth year. Just laying foundations here. **


	3. Of beating and banters

Rose had never been brave. That's why she had not found it odd when the sorting hat had told her she was not suited for Gryffindor. On the contrary; she had found it a good decision on his part. She was quite sure that if she had ended up in the house of her family, they would have overruled her so thoroughly, that it would be hard for her to speak up even when the others weren't constantly yelling at each other.

That did not mean she hadn't been surprised at where it had put her.

Looking at the red-headed section of the platform,her first instinct was to bolt, run away, beg Scarlet to take her home with her and never return home again.

"Rose." A voice said behind her. Her heart lurched and she turned around so quickly that she almost fell.

"Oh god Teddy, it's just you." She said.

He scrunched up his face. "Just me seems a popular description today."

Rose did not comment. she didn't care much for the reason behind that statement.

She stole a look over her shoulder.

"Why aren't you with your family yet?" Teddy asked, catching her.

Rose felt her cheeks burning up ever so slightly as she turned back to him.

For you to completely understand her reaction, you have to know more than is displayed in this single snapshot of time. Rose was the kind of girl who silently watched, and the one she watched most often was her big cousin that was not her cousin Teddy. He, ever so old with his blue hair and funny nose, had been the one she looked up to the most. There was a calm in him that the others in her family lacked, and it drew Rose closer. Teddy, perfect in her eyes, was the one she never wanted to admit her faults to, even though he had many of his own and was not afraid to show it. Only another thing to admire in him for her.

"I… I was just." She actually stammered in her frantic search for words. Her hand went to her house badge on her trunk. Teddy caught this as well. Damn his attentiveness.

"Oh." He said. His cheery demeanour that had been half fake to begin with fell away.

She nodded.

Teddy said nothing. Rose didn't know if his silence was because of a lack of words on his part, or because he understood she didn't want to speak of it then and there.

The tips of his fingers pressed against her shoulder and he started steering her towards the redhead.

Her mother was the first who saw her. Their eyes met and for a moment. Hermione looked like she was going to cry. Rose blinked and it was gone. In its place, a look of disappointment filled Hermione's eyes.

Rose stiffened, her back straightening.

"Teddy, Rose." Her mother called. Teddy grinned at Hermione.

"Look what I found leaving the train." He called. "Held her up for a while. I hope you didn't mind?"

Hermione's smile was warm and motherly. "Of course not Teddy. We were wondering what was taking her. I'm glad you found here."

She turned towards Rose, and even though her face fell into a disappointed frown, she put her arms up in front of her, demanding a hug.

Rose made no move to move forward.

Slowly, the rest of the group seemed to notice her. There were less of them than she had expected, but the bright eyes staring at her were intimidating none the less. Gleaming eyes. Rose couldn't decide whether they were the eyes of predators looking at their next prey, or just those of curious children confronted with an unfamiliar case.

Rose wrapped herself in the cold air she had become so familiar with. It was the cold air that the girls in Slytherin wrapped around themselves when they felt threatened. Because whatever Rose did, she wanted to forgive, forget, nor break down, and she knew that she would do one of those if she had nothing to hold onto.

Hermione put her arms down slowly, hurt. Ron frowned disapprovingly and her cousins seemed reassured.

Rose went to the one person that looked absolutely psyched to see her, and her arms closed around Hugo without a seconds hesitation. She lifted him in the air for a moment and he let out an affronted noise. "How have you been Hugo?" She asked. He had grown over the year and was only a few inches shorter than her. His hair had grown even more unruly.

"Good." he said, and he looked like he was full of stories he couldn't wait to tell her. She wanted to mess up his hair, but her father caught her eye.

"You could have written." He said. Rose let go of Hugo and smoothed her clothes. He had never been one to keep things private. She saw James and Al turn to their father, hastily starting some conversation so they could pretend they didn't hear the fight that was sure to start.

Rose turned to him and lifted her chin into the air. "I was capable. Yes."

His eyes flashed and she saw rage there. He was a hot head and did not easily calm down. Even though he usually calmed down after he took some time for himself, the rage was easily called back. Rose had always excelled in agitating people.

Hermione came between them before Ron had been able to slam into the cold wall Rose had brought up around herself.

She hushed Ron with a look and hurried them away.

* * *

_Dear Scarlet,_

_How are you and your parents?_

_I have missed you. I wish I was with you right now in Italy._

_There are a thousand things I could tell you right now, but I won't because I wish to waste ink nor paper._

_Please, tell me about all the wonderful things you have done. Cheer me up._

_Love,_

_Rose_

* * *

There were a thousand things that happened during that first week of her vacation; the fight between her and her father. The fight between her parents that followed. The talks she had with her brother. He seemed the only one that didn't care about 'all the things she had done wrong', because her father and mother weren't upset because she had been sorted into Slytherin. That would be wrong. They were mad because she hadn't written at all and because she had been misbehaving and because she had this attitude and because she had been fighting with her cousins.

there had been the day they had forced her to go to her grandparents and she had to face her entire family. She had fled away at the first opportunity she found, because she did not want to hang around the people who shot nasty looks at her.

There had been Teddy who had found her for the second time and told her how he knew how it felt to be rejected, whether the other was conscious of it or not, and how she had said no word to him. There had been a quidditch game. There had been fights. There had been tears. There had been problems. There had been promises.

* * *

_Dear Scorpius,_

_Just a note to let you know I still live._

_Home sucks._

_You're a git for making me write first._

_Git._

_Rose_

* * *

The thing that planted the first seed of hatred in Rose's heart happened on her uncle's birthday. It had been a beautiful summer day - a tad too hot for Rose's taste, but beautiful nonetheless. Harry's house was big and grand and far too extravagant for Rose's liking. She felt like it was shouting at her, deafening her and overruling her by its presence. The garden was untidy like a park in the middle of the summer. Three bikes lay in a heap in the front yard and a broom lay forlorn in a flower bed. A rubber duck was floating on the surface of the pond that was the only thing that Rose loved about her uncle's house.

Her parents had made her come. She would have been content with curling up in her bed for the rest of the day and maybe read a book or two.

Her mother had told her to stop hiding and that she needed to see more of her family. Rose told her that they needn't be afraid that she'd steal everything if they left her home alone for a few hours.

So here she was. Angry, frustrated, not in the mood. Hermione had a smile plastered on her face that seemed to hurt her and Ron didn't even hide his clear fury. Hugo looked smaller than he had before. His big eyes flicked between his parents and Rose. Fearful, tearful.

Another time Rose might have taken his hand.

The door opened and her parents were quickly distracted by a happy Harry.

Rose hid in a corner.

The evening progressed and there was laughing, dancing, drinking. Rose watched and watched and did her best to not be watched.

It was only a matter of time before someone noticed her and she would need to bite away from them again, because the first stance they took was hostile and Rose would not let them attack her like a helpless lamb. She would fight back

James moved over through the room. He was holding a butterbeer and Rose knew the instant she saw him he was looking for a fight. He was bored and she was entertainment.

She looked for a way away and found an escape to outside.

James followed her, and with his leaving, others followed. Wandering and wondering.

Rose turned when they reached her. Her finger twitched.

James smiled pleasantly. "Didn't expect to see you," he said.

He continued when she didn't respond. "I thought you'd be too busy whoring for that Malfoy boy for dad's birthday."

Tweedledee and Tweedledum reached them, and Dom let out a cackling laugh. She had been the one most upset. Rose knew it was because her misfortune took some of the spotlight off her.

Roxy smiled weakly. She liked gossiping, not confrontation.

"Oh, I wouldn't be too quick to reach that decision, James." Dom said. "You can never know what she hid in that hair."

James began to laugh so hard tears appeared in his eyes.

"What's so funny?" Freddy asked, appearing besides his twin.

His eyes fell on Rose and he needed no more explanation.

"Rose was just telling us how she his a ferret in her hair." Dom said.

Truth be told, Rose stopped listening then. It was boring to hear them repeat the same thing over and over. She stood. She was silent. She hoped they would just leave her alone. She didn't want to fight on her uncle's birthday. It felt like breaking some unspoken rule and once she broke it there was no way back and the fighting had no chance of stopping even if she stopped being full of anger and full of rage and full of fury and full of that thing that angered others.

Laughter knocked the other four off their feet soon afterwards. They rolling around on the ground because of something Dom had said. Rose felt slightly disappointed at that. Even though James' insults were better, Dom's were meaner and thus attracted more laughs.

"She really is just like a zombie, isn't she?" Roxy asked, poking Rose.

If you've ever been poked awake when you were already half asleep, you know the jolt of shock that went through Rose, and how the tingling sensation reminded her of electricity.

She took one step back in panic and confusion.

Dom giggled and more shoved than poked her other leg.

Rose took another step back, and felt her foot slipping away.

With a scream she fell backwards. The first thing she became conscious of was the pressure. The next was of how she couldn't breath and of the water that was making its way into her clothes and hair and how it was licking her with cold tongues. She opened her eyes and she could not see.

She madly kicked around herself, sprawling with her arms and legs in the hope of breaking the surface.

When she surfaced, she couldn't have been in the pond for more than three seconds.

Rose tried to look at her cousins back safely on the ground, but with the water in her eyes all she could see was five shapes against the light of the setting sun.

Four people and one house.

Her back hurt.

Rose rubbed her eyes and looked again. Her cousins were looking at her. Roxy looked somewhat dazed. Freddy was without shoes and laughing his ass of with Dom and James.

They were so far away. Rose must have tumbled down over the bottom of the pond to end up where she was.

She moved towards them and slowly heaved herself out of the pond.

There were shapes moving from the house to where they were, and the three teenagers had stopped laughing long before Harry had arrived.

Big innocent eyes told the story of her starting a fight. Big innocent eyes told of how she had run off in rage and hadn't seen the pond. Big innocent eyes produced big innocent tears.

Rose didn't speak, and big innocent eyes were believed.

A cold rage had settled into Rose and she didn't speak for the rest of the holidays.

When Rose thought back on the day years later, the thing she could remember clearest of all was the picture of the rubber duck bobbing around the pond.

**AN. So this is the end of the introduction. Say goodbye to little Rose. Please tell me what you think. I'm always looking for ways to improve myself so a word of advice would be the most wonderful thing in the world (and flattery makes me write faster). I wanted to thank dark5ifter for reviewing (I can't sent you an PM because you are not logged in)**


	4. Of catching and calling

There are sixteen ways through hell Rose had walked. Three were empty and desolate and never-ending. Five were with demons of fire and past. Seven were of water and ice and depths that had never been seen.

One was of darkness.

Rose woke with a start. "Merlin," she cried out, steadying herself before she fell off of her chair. She looked up in the face of professor Longbottom. He frowned at her. "Wrong." He said. "And I believe I have already reminded you several times, I do not tolerate sleeping during classes. Five points from Slytherin."

Rose groaned and resisted going back to sleep. "I'm sorry, Mister Longbottom. please forgive me for my discretion." Her head felt heavy like the earth pulled it down. it was spinning and she was not thinking clearly.

"Look me in the eye when you are speaking to me." Longbottom said. Rose turned her eyes on him and saw his flushed cheeks. Her eyes went crossed and almost closed again.

"Miss Weasley."

Rose's eyes flew open and she straightened her back.

"Yes sir?"

"Would you be so kind as to pay attention when I am speaking?"

"Of course sir," Rose said, "I try and strive to give my attention to everyone who has something to say. Sometimes it's hard for me to decide whether to listen to the Gryffindor quidditch team update or to a lecture about the Fanged Geranium that I already know by heart I have always had a weakness for fanged things. I am sorry, sir. I am getting off topic, am I not? I apologize. Somehow I sometimes have trouble staying on track during your lessons. Maybe some more guidance would help, or some new tracks."

As Rose spoke, she could see the colour creep up his neck. He frowned and the muscles of his jaw bulged.

"Sir." Rose added.

"Pack your books miss Weasley." Longbottom whispered, his voice strained. "And report to Mrs. Fronsac." Rose stretched and stuffed her unopened books into her bag. ridiculous she found it. Longbottom was breathing heavily. He was half a head taller than her and would have looked intimidating if it were not for the pink tie he was wearing. Rose had yet to see Longbottom in anything but dress robes in front of the class. Somehow, this tie, this pink tie that had obviously been a gift from his loving wife or aunt or daughter made Rose more enraged that anything he could say to her. Who was he to sent her away. He had challenged. She had done nothing but accept.

Her angry and muffled brain had decided she must do something to anger him as well. It was the only logical thing to do.

"See you,Nivs," she called over her shoulder as she headed out.

Faintly, she heard Neville take away more point behind her but she did not pay him any mind.

She would get in trouble with her housemates about the points though.

But no. She did not care. She won them enough points. He was being unfair. She could do nothing about that.

Stil….

She kicked against a suit of armor and it came down with a clanging that hurt Rose's ears and toes.

"Fuck," she yelled. Her toe was screaming blood and decay and Rose leant against the wall. She rubbed over her toe. The pain increased.

"Why am I such a fucking idiot all the time."

No answer came to her and Rose was left to limp on.

* * *

When she reached Mrs. Fronsac's office, no one was there. Rose knocked again, opened the door. The office was small and round with a lot of green. Rose set her bag on the floor and sat on the chair in front of the desk, closing the door behind her as she went.

Fronsac was out teaching.

She made herself comfortable. Rose bored quickly of twiddling her fingers and began browsing Fronsac's possessions. She settled on reading a book.

This is how Fronsac found her in an office that was significantly more messy than before, sitting comfortably in the visitor's chair, reading Magical creatures and how to avert them.

"Rose." She said. "I'm afraid I can't say I'm surprised to see you."

Rose looked up and smiled. "Likewise, Ma'am."

"I see it your not being sent to me for one week was too much to ask for."

Rose painted a look of regret on her face

"Don't lie to me." Fronsac said sharply. "You can pretend to anyone you want, but me. Don't look sorry unless you are sorry."

Rose smiled again. "But I am sorry to cause you distress."

She sniffed. "Don't think so highly of yourself, girl. You have caused me none of the sorts." She walked to her chair and sat down, her back straight. She had a natural grace about herself, and despite her grey hair and sagging skin, the woman looked no older than fifty.

"Of course not," Rose said. "Professor Longbottom sent me to you. Since I have reported myself and experienced all the shame that comes with it, may I be excused?"

Fronsac shook her head. "No quidditch practice this week, girl."

Rose's eyes went wide and she forgot all formalities. Mrs Fronsac made it so easy to forget all that nonsense. "What, do you want us to lose? You know we need al the practice we can get now that the weather is still good and.."

Fronsac held up a finger, silencing her before she could go on.

"You won't have time. You have detention every night this week, and count yourself lucky."

Her eyes softened for a moment. "Really, Rose. watch your step. There is only so much I can do for you."

Rose nodded. "I always do, ma'am, but so do the ones determined to make me trip."

Fronsac waved her away and Rose left without complaint.

* * *

Scarlet held the outfit to her body. "What do you think, Rose?" She asked inspecting herself in the mirror.

Rose looked at the dress. Now that she wasn't wearing it, looking too small for her.

"It's pretty." Rose started. She put her book away and sat upright. "But don't you think it's a little short?"

Scarlet shrugged. "Showing a little leg never hurt anyone." She said. Rose was certain of the falseness of that statement.

"Plus," Scarlet continued, "I just want to have a little fun now I'm all single again."

"Oh yea." Rose said, trailing the end of her quill over her bottom lip. "That's right. You´re free again."

Scarlet nodded, a big smile lit up her face."

"Your parents were supportive?" Rose asked.

Scarlet's demeanor fell, but she didn't let the cheery tone go out of her voice. "Oh, you know," she said. "I haven't come around to telling them yet. But it's no big deal."

"I suppose." Rose said. "Didn't they buy you that necklace though. It was very pretty. I think you wore it on that date with Malfoy."

"Yes. I remember."

"I think it was your anniversary." Rose continued.

"Could be."

"Oh well. I'm sure they will understand that you broke it off with him."

"Yes."

"They never seemed very excited to me."

"Oh Rose will you just stop it." Scarlet stamped with her foot on the ground and threw the nearest thing she could at Rose. The brush landed on the ground, a feet away from Rose.

"Stop pestering me about it, alright?"

Rose shrugged. "I just think you gave up too soon."

Scarlet changed the subject without any pretence.

"What are you wearing tonight?"

Rose hummed.

"Because you are going."

Rose hummed again, not looking at scarlet.

"And you are not staying here."

"hm."

"Rose. Look at me."

Rose turned to Scarlet.

"Now tell me what you are going to do tonight and what you are going to wear, and don't you dare lie to me because I'm friends with Missy and I'm not afraid to use her."

Rose sighed. "I was going to wear that green dress, walk you to the party, go in to nick a bottle of something and then go lie on the roof of the astronomy tower."

Scarlet's eyes lit up. "The green dress, really? I have a pair of shoes that would look gorgeous with that dress. And It's not proper to steal drinks from a party."

Rose shrugged. "It's not proper to go to a party that isn't thrown by your own house as well."

Scarlet rolled her eyes. "We are invited. And it's just Ravenclaw. It's not like we're going to the lions nest."

"But there will be enough cups there that I will want to kill myself." Rose said.

"If you would," Scarlet started, "does that mean I killed you because I am the one that is making you go?"

Rose shrugged. "Partially."

"But I wouldn't be held responsible?"

Rose shook her head. "Not officially."

"Settled then. You'll pretend like you aren't such a coward, we'll go to the part together and I'll show you how to have a good time despite people are glaring daggers into your back."

Rose laughed. "Got a lot of practice going out with Malfoy, didn't you?"

Scarlet's face showed traces of pain. "You have no idea how crazy those girls chasing him are."

She shook her head. "I mean, he's not even that handsome. There are boys with prettier faces in our school."

"Yes, but those good-looking faces don't have a family fortune to go with it." Rose reasoned.

Scarlet's eyes widened. "Those skanks!" She cried out. Rose couldn't help but laugh at the outraged expression on her face. "What?" She asked. "That really never occurred to you?"

She shook her head.

"You are so pure hearted sometimes. I really wonder if you and Scorpius talked at all. I swear I thought he would have you corrupted with ten sentences."

"We were friends before we started dating, remember?" Scarlet sniffed.

Rose waved it away. "Here you come with details again. Have I not told you that I'm not impressed?"

"Have I not told you that I don't care?" Scarlet inspected her nails, sniffed, took out an emery board and began filing her nails. "And you are going to that party with me." She added before Rose could hide behind her book again.

_Damn_

* * *

It had been Rose's ninth glass when it happened, but no, Rose did not want to think about that. It made her had hurt and a light went bright behind her eyelids and a ringing started in her ears. Her eyes started to roll and someone was shouting at her to calm down. _Calm down._

She had been calm, hadn't she? She had been calmer than she had been in months.

* * *

Rose drank the last of her drink and smacked the cup on the table, upside down.

"That's how you drink a shot." She said, looking the amused Ravenclaw in the eye. His glasses were askew.

"I like your necklace." He shouted. He leaned closer so she could hear him over the music and trailed over the necklace.

He was about three drinks too early.

Rose slightly moved away from him. It was a clear sign. I don't want you to do that. Everyone in Slytherin would have gotten that, even if they had drunk themselves halfway to a coma.

But he was a Ravenclaw.

Glasses moved a bit closer and she felt his arm pressing against hers. She looked away, hoping to see Scarlet somewhere.

"Thanks. It's new." Rose said and she tucked the hanger of the necklace under her dress.

He made a disappointed sound. "Don't put it away." Glasses must have meant it to sound seductive and full of husky manliness, but he sounded like a child to Rose ears.

"I'm thirsty." Rose shouted.

Glasses blinked a few times, his alcohol fuddled mind not comprehending what she had said. She was still looking around for

"Can I get you something?" He asked.

"Please," Rose said, and he went running.

If Scarlet wouldn't come within two minutes, Rose was leaving and damn this party and those crude idiots who couldn't pick up the easiest sign.

It wasn't Scarlet who sat in front of her one minute later with a big grin on her face and two filled glasses in her hands.

Scorpius handed her one and motioned for her to throw it all back together with him. She smiled wickedly and took the glass from him.

When the Ravenclaw boy returned, Rose and Scorpius were laughing about nothing and everything. Rose look the glass from Glasses, she threw Scorpius a look.

Scorpius burst out laughing even harder.

"Mate." He shouted._ mate_. Merlin, he was drunk. Rose liked him when he was drunk.

"There are three options you have that result in that pretty arm of yours getting broken."

Glasses was staring at Scorpius blankly.

"Do you know which these are?"

Glasses shook his head. Scorpius smiled pleasantly. "Well, let me assure you, you can also get yourself some broken ribs to go with that arm."

Glasses' eyes were blank.

"Get out of here before I find out your name and things will start happening to you and your family."

Blank eyed glasses moved away. not too quickly, not too slowly.

"I always wonder," Rose said, "why you never curse when you are drunk."

Malfoy grinned. "I am not drunk. I am just having trouble seeing where gravity comes from."

Rose nodded.

"Cursing shows bad manners." Scorpius said.

"You curse a lot."

"I never claimed to have good manners. My parents are fucked up, Rose. I am probably the worst mannered fuckhole you're going to meet in your whole life."

Rose nodded and drank her drink. "You are probably right."

* * *

Scorpius left her at her seventh drink. He had either seen a girl, or a fight. When someone sat down next to her mere seconds after Scorpius had left, she missed him and the isolation he provided her here.

He was a rotten and most people avoided him for it.

"Hi. Rose, right?" The boy, because of course it was a boy, asked.

Rose nodded.

"How do you like the party?"

Rose smelled no alcohol on his breath.

"It's nice." She said. "The music is good."

His eyebrows shot up. "Oh?" he asked. "I have yet to see you dance."

Rose glanced at the corner of the common room where there was dancing. She saw Scarlet glued to Missy, and wondered who had invited Missy.

"I'm not really a dancer." She said. "Never have been.

"Really? How come?"

So Rose began a conversation. The boy showed no signs of leaving, and Rose needed new company now her friends had left her for dancers and fights and people who knew how to enjoy themselves.

The bot revealed himself as Dane Stover. He was the one throwing this party for his eighteenth birthday and for the fact that N.E.W.T.'s were still a few months off. Rose had a sneaking suspicion she knew who he hung out with on regular basis, but she waved it off as the alcohol making her paranoid.

* * *

Rose had just begun sipping her ninth drink when two smiling faces answered her suspicion. James and Freddy settled next to Dane on the couch.

"Dane!" James sat furthest from Rose and even she could hear him over the music.

"Great party man!"

Fred nodded and threw an arm around Dane's shoulders. "The chicks are great. I am just wondering."

"Why aren't you out there chasing one of them."

Dane flushed and Rose could feel his eyes on her but she was looking down into her glass, contemplating whether throwing the content over James and Freddy, or drinking it would make the situation better for her.

She decided the more alcohol to numb her, the better and drank it all in one swallow. It burned and Rose knew whatever she just drank was not supposed to be drunk without being mixed.

"I was tired of dancing," Dane said, "so I sat down for a bit."

"I see." Freddy said.

James looked at Rose. "And you came here to find out who had invited this slut."

He was still smiling. Rose had taken Dane's cup that stood on the table in front of them and drank this too. Dane was looking at James in disbelieve.

"No. actually - He began. Freddy cut him off.

"I see. She came to you."

Dane shook his head and James ignored him.

"Came to throw yourself at him, didn't you?"

Not many people knew of the relationship between Rose and her family. Rose did not want them to know. She avoided confrontation as the plague and at school, she succeeded most of the time. It was only when one of them had had an especially bad day that they sought her out. She usually got the blame.

"She did not." Dane interrupted him. "She was sitting here alone so I came to check if she was having a good time."

"Ahh…" Freddy said.  
"Yes, yes," James said.

"I see," Fred added.

"She just happened to sit here all alone and catch your eye," James said.

"I am sure she had nothing to do with that," Freddy continued.

"No. She can't have," James said.

"Look," Freddy said, turning to Dane. "I know you feel like she did nothing wrong. She looks innocent enough, and if you don't look too close at her make up, she looks pretty enough, but she is sly and manipulative. Trust me. We know her."

Dane looked uncertain.

"And you." Freddy turned to Rose. "What the fuck did you think you were doing?"

Rose looked at him. "James. You look lovely tonight. Black looks good on you."

"Rose."

"I was just talking."

James grimaced. "It's never just talking with you, that's the problem. I swear if you were any easier even ghost would give you a shot."

"Fuck off." Rose said.

"No, Thorn, I'm serious. Or did the bloody Baron already visit? I saw him grinning rather satisfied the other day."

"James, I know that you have a foot stuck up your ass and you get too little action in the front but that is no reason to take it out on others."

James eyes flashed. "Say that again, bitch, and you are dead."

"Wow," Rose said and she clutched the robes over her heart. "I think the only time I have been this scared in my life was when you set that bunny on me." Rose said.

"I'm sorry," James said, "I thought you might be in need of some love, seeing as you don't get it from anyone else."

"You taught that bunny to bite!" Rose was yelling. He had struck a nerve and she was drunk and the room was spinning and she was standing up, pointing a trembling finger at him.

"And who's fault is that?" She shouted. "Who made it so?"

"You did," James said.

"It's okay, Rose." Freddy said. "You can't help what you are. Just don't saddle us with it."

"Shut up, Fred."

A fist went flying, a scream went dying and a girl fell to the floor with a broken cheekbone.

* * *

**Chapters are getting longer. Thanks for reading. Please tell me what you think. I can never grow as a writer without feedback. **


	5. Of Damage and Destruction

_"She knows I hate it when people call me Fred."_

Voices were flowing through the air around Rose. her head was buzzing and the air she was breathing was thick. It made breathing hard.

_"Yes, I know Freddie. I am not saying-"_

Th thumping in her head increased as a high pitch sound infiltrated her hearing. She moaned and tried to struggle against it. She couldn't make sense of what was being said. the thumping made it hard to think and it was so hard to breath.

_"I mean, I know I shouldn't have punched her. That is not the right thing to do, but I couldn't think. She makes me so angry."_

The voices came from further away now, like a pillow had been placed over Rose's ears. It was good. the constant thumping in her head became less painful. Maybe if they would go away, there would be nothing to anger the thumping monster and it would stop hurting her.

_"You don't have to justify yourself. No one's angry-"_

she almost couldn't hear them by now. She felt herself slipping away. She hoped that there would be no pain there. No air so thick that it would not go into your lungs without a struggle.

_"Are you sure about that?"_

Roxy, Freddy and Scorpius all looked at Rose as she let out a sigh as she slipped into unconsciousness.

Freddy was the first to get his attention back to the conversation.

"What was that, Malfoy?" He growled. the easiest way to make someone forget about their regret was to attack them.

Scorpius' cool eyes looked Fred up and down. The boy who been about to burst into tears when he had come was now tense, ready to fight at the slightest hint of danger.

"I merely asked if your sister was stupid enough to think that no one is angry with you." Malfoy said.

"No one who matters." Roxy said.

Scorpius resisted the urge to hit her.

"No one you lie to, you mean." He said. "Don't give me that look, Roxanne, Fred. I have been Rose's friend since first year, you think I did not notice how you all work? You're good. I give you that. Always sending Dom or Lily because no one can resist their tearful eyes. It's easy to look through though, once you know."

Roxanne huffed indignantly and her hand went to her braid, toying with it. Fred hands clenched.

"And what are you going to do about it?" Fred asked. "Tell on us?" he laughed.

Scorpius smiled. "I am not an idiot." He said. "So don't talk to me like I am one. I am going to make you regret this." He nodded to Rose. She was still sleeping with a smile on her face.

"You see, I am not a nice person like she is."

Fred raised an eyebrow, either not impressed or desperately trying to hid that he was. Scorpius guessed the latter.

"You have me shaking in my shoes," he said.

Scorpius, still that same smile plastered on his face, slowly took out his wand and pointed it, not at Fred, but at Roxy.

"You two are going to leave the hospital wing now. You don't deserve to sit with her." He said.

Roxe looked at Fred and Scorpius saw fear in her eyes. They didn't bring their wand. Why would they?

Fred took a step forward. "What was that, Malfoy!" He shouted. he tried to reach out and take the piece of wood from him, but Scorpius held it just outside of his range.

"Again those same words. You have no creativity, do you? I wonder if you even need that tongue of yours." He smoothly moved his hand. the tip of his wand was inches away from Fred's forehead.

"Or your ears for that matter. You don't seem to be using them."

Fred's ears burned red and his eyes flashed. don't seem to be using them."

Fred's ears burned red and his eyes flashed. Before he could do anything, Roxanne grabbed his arm. There were tears in her eyes. "Please stop, Fred. You remember Digglebee, right?"

Fred looked wearily at Scorpius. "That was him?"

Roxanne nodded and pulled him away. "Please, come. Let's go Freddy. Just leave him. He's not worth your time."

"Yes, listen to your coward sister, Fred." Malfoy said. "Go sink away with your tail between your legs."

He could see Fred trying to pull away from Roxanne so he could turn around and hit him, but Roxanne did not let go of him.

"Don't listen to him! Don't be an idiot. He had a wand."

Scorpius laughed and just before they were out the door, he fired a spell at Roxanne. She didn't notice. She would.

He took Rose's hand and sat down. She looked so beautiful in her sleep. With a gentleness he possessed only towards her, he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

He hadn't felt so good in ages.

"You're not going to end up here again." He told her, his hand cupping her cheek. "Not anymore."

* * *

The light was blinding. It hurt Rose's eyes. she closed them again and moved her head. It felt light and fussy. She had a slight headache, but she had the feeling it was something she should be happy about, not sad. She wondered where she was.

She tried opening her eyes again, but the light was so bright it made her eyes water. Did she forget the close her blinds again?

No, she wasn't in her own bed. It was too sturdy. The smell was all wrong too. Rose tried to be more conscious of her senses. The bed was fresh and the air was clean, with a slight smell of disinfectant. Someone was holding her hand.

The hospital wing? How did she end up there. Rose tried to remember what she had done the night before, but nothing came to mind. Maybe she had fallen down a staircase and hit her head after she had been studying late.

She opened her mouth. "Hm.. why?" her tongue felt thick and if was almost a hard to talk as it was to think.

something chafed over the ground and the hand holding hers flew loose. half a second later it caressed her cheek.

"Rose? Are you already awake?" The headache became worse with the noise but she did not mind it.

"Malfoy?" She asked. She felt a smile spread over her lips as she leant towards his hand.

"Yes. How are you feeling? Madame Rosinda thought you would not wake for another five hours or so."

"Hm. I'm good. Good. Only foggy. hard to think. to speak."

"Do you know your name?"

Rose giggled. What a silly thing of him to ask. of course she knew her name.

"Patricia of course."

She tried opening her eyes again and she saw Scorpius leaning over her. He was smiling. not that mad smile he usually had. A real smile. "Rose." He said.

Rose put her hand on his cheek. "I'm glad that.. it's you," she said, "That you're the one… who's here."

Scorpius put his hand over hers, and slowly pulled away. "Well, of course you are." He said, looking at his nails in self-satisfaction.

"And I am here because there is no better excuse to miss class. You woke too early though. I might still have to go to potions."

Rose didn't reply. She couldn't find the words in her shook up head.

He eyed her. "Do you remember what happened?" He asked.

Rose shook her head. It hurt and she winched.

Scorpius pretended not to notice it, but his eyes did darken. "It was that bastard cousin of yours." He said.

"Which.." She started, but the word flew away from her before she could finish her question.

"Fred. He is such a fucking imbecile. was whining to his sister how he didn't mean to, and how it's all her fault." Scorpius spat.

"Why do you put up with them. I would have killed them years ago."

He did not lie. Rose knew. If they would have been his cousins, he would have.

"I just want… alone.. stay alone."

Scorpius eyes flashed. "That idiot knocked you off your feet and now you have a concussion. I am not supposed to let you go back to sleep when you wake up. I should have called Rosinda right away."

Rose closed her eyes. All the thinking made her tired.

"Rose!" Scorpius shouted. She opened her eyes again.

"You heard me, right? You're not supposed to sleep again. She said you could never wake up again."

"I am tired" Rose brought out. "Don't be angry. not for me."

Scorpius looked at her, and he softened.

"I'm sorry, Rose. I don't like seeing you hurt."

"Rosinda?" Rose asked, looking at him.

He understood and went to get her.

* * *

Rose was kept in the hospital wing for three days straight. When she asked Rosinda how she ended up there, she told her that she had been to a party and had drunk too much. She had run through the hallways and straight into a suit of armour.

"More precisely." She said, smiling that motherly smile of her. "You hit this cheekbone against it." She touched her left cheek. "And then fell backwards and hit your head as well. And that is why you're still here. I mended your cheekbone in a few seconds - it was a clean fracture - but the head is more complicated."

Rose hadn't brought it up afterwards.

* * *

Rose was glad her family didn't try to visit. Only Al came over once. Rose had pretended to be asleep and Al had silently cried at her bedside. It had been terribly awkward for Rose, who had not yet decided whether she would ever forgive Al or not. He had left after not too long though. Probably so no one who unexpectedly came in would see him crying like a baby.

* * *

finally Rose was let out of the care of Madame Rosinda. She had let Rose go with the proviso that she would keep taking the thick, disgusting 'medicine' for two more months.

Walking was hard, and Rose was carefully walking through the hallways on her way to the great hall. She had half a mind to surprise her friends by sitting down next to them like she hadn't been absent half a week.

her fingers were scraping over the rough stones as she sought balance from them when she heard footsteps coming towards them.

She hoped it wasn't one of her cousins.

Scorpius rounded the corner. When his eyes found her, they widened and he was by her side before she could react.

"Rose, what are you doing? You aren't supposed to leave the hospital wing yet." He said as he put his arm around her shoulders, steadying her.

Rose leant against him, only now aware of how tired the walking had made her.

"It's ok." She breathed. "Madame Rosinda let me go under the condition that I would take it easy."

"And are you taking it easy?" Scorpius asked. "You're shaking."

Rose's face contorted. "I am only walking to the great hall. It shouldn't be so hard."

"Rose." Scorpius said and he stroked her head. "It's not your fault, but you can't do much yet. Your gross and fine motor skills have been damaged. Rosinda is fixing it, but until then you need to take it easy."

Rose gave him a look.

"Really easy." He said.

Rose glared.

He smiled. "Hé, it's not my fault."

Rose clumsily crossed her arms and her glare intensified.

Scorpius chuckled and messed up her hair.

"I'll walk you."

* * *

**_An: I am not too sure about this chapter. I wrote it in a rush because I am going away this evening and I wanted to update this story before I went, but I think I might have better waited and written it more carefully. Well.. it's up to you to decide. I might rewrite parts when I come back. Especially the overly sweet parts between Scorpius and Rose (that are sweet enough to give me a toothache)_**

**_Anway, this is what I think. please, tell me what you think! _**


	6. Of entertainment and ecstatics

Somehow, Rose had managed to climb over the bench. Her legs were shaking. It frustrated Rose and when she sat, her knees buckled, making her crash onto the bench with more force that she liked. Her arse hurt. Scorpius' hand was still on her shoulder, making sure she would not fall backwards. Rose shrugged it off, annoyed that he thought she could not even sit without help.

Scorpius sat down next to her. His shoulder brushed hers, but Rose shuffled away a bit.

She saw a few people looking at her, one or two openly pointing at her. Her cheeks flamed. Near her, her name fell a few times. Rose tried to ignore it but every time her name was mentioned, her ear tugged a little and she had to stop her head from moving in that direction of its own accord.

"what do you want to eat?" Scorpius asked, reaching for a plate across the table. He stashed his own plate with mashed potatoes and sausage and held the plate up for her, looking at her questionably.

"I can get it myself," Rose snapped. Scorpius blinked, and she saw his eyes hardening. He was crawling back behind his mask of misery. Rose didn't care. She reached over the table aiming for a piece of toast, not glancing at Scorpius. She could get her own food, damn it. She wasn't some helpless lamb. She missed the toast. Her hand flew fast it and her fingers hit a carafe of pumpkin juice, knocking it over. Glass splintered and pumpkin juice was running freely over the table.

Rose pulled her hand back and promptly sat back down, eyes wide in shock. her finger hurt and she felt tears stinging behind eyes. Her other hand closed over her finger.

She heard screams as pumpkin juice dripped off the table and on their precious clothing, but it was vague. Her eyes wouldn't focus. A blur to her right moved and another one shot toward her from her left.

Something - some things - were moving through the air in front of her.

How had that happened?

"Are you ok? Are you hurt anywhere?"

_She had just been unable to grab something from a feet away._

It wasn't Scorpius' voice. Rose looked sideways into Scarlet's face. They were almost nose to nose and Rose's eyes hurt trying to adjust to the nearness of her best friend. Rose shuffled a bit back.

_How did you react when you were suddenly confronted with the fact that you didn't have complete control over your body any more because of an injury that was not visible in any other way._

Scarlet, impatient as ever, was now shaking Rose, still bombarding her with questions if she was al right and whether she could hear her. Rose felt the headache that was never far away come back.

"I think she has snapped," someone said. It wasn't a whisper.

Rose didn't react. She stared at her hand, kept staring at her hand. Her eyes were drawn to it like crows to battle, unable to look away. She heard words around her. Heard, but their meaning did not reach them.

_Maybe this is how you react. You shut down._

The pounding in her head became stronger as the noise around her grew. A shrill, high pitch sound drilled holes into her skull and it seemed to Rose that the light grew dimmer. Scarlet had taken one of her hands and the normally bright nail polish that Scarlet wore - much to the dislike of Missy - looked more like brown than red. Rose forced her eyes to lift from her hand to Missy. Her mouth was moving and her eyes were on Rose's hands. She tugged and scratched as she examined it. Scarlet had never mastered gentle movements. Too impatient she was. Too careless. Rose managed to glance around. Her neck felt stiff, and the room was blurry. So many people where looking at her. Weak prey. An easily captured pawn in the chess game of their ambition.

She cast her eyes down again, wondering why her vision was so blurry. The pinching and scratching from scarlet felt far away.

A hand closed around her shoulder and Rose was vaguely aware of someone dragging her out of the great hall.

The corridors were damp and the sound of footsteps reverberated around them. She felt someone walking besides her. Was it the same person that had dragged her away? Probably. Rose didn't look. The thought of looking didn't occur to her. She didn't care. All that was in her mind was how she had been unable to move her arm how she wanted to and of how she was walking with the coordination of a drunk, and of how her arms refused to stop trembling. What did it matter if someone was dragging her back to the hospital wing, what did it matter if someone brought her before ms. Fronsac - or headmaster Dunkins of that matter. What did it matter if it was one of her cousins dragging her away, so they could remind her not to embarrass them. What did it all matter in perspective to the inability to control your own body?

She stopped and leant against the wall. She was tired and her legs had begun trembling along with her arms, almost like she was caught in a blizzard. She was aware of the rough stone messing up her hair and opening up her knuckles as the trembling dragged them across the rough surface.

Scorpius' face appeared in front of her vision, but his face was blurry like a dirty window was separating them. But she knew it was him, there was no mistaking his hair.

There might have been relief there, Rose did not remember. But if she were to be honest for once, she did not think there was. Her memory of it was one of an empty void at the place where her feelings once were, her mind focused solely on shock.

Slowly, not sure why she was doing so, Rose brought one hand up to her cheek. It was hot and wet. Scorpius looked incredibly uncomfortable through her tears. It was the first time Rose had even seen him so uncertain. When he shifted and awkwardly scraped his throat, Rose let out a laugh. It was a harsh sound, with joy nor merit in it. It was all so messed up. It was all so wrong. Her laugh turned into a sob and her legs gave way. She slid down the wall and hid her face in her arms. She was shaking and sobbing.

She didn't know how long she sat there, but if you'd asked her, she would have said five minutes. When her sobs finally stopped and she raised her head, it felt like someone had taken a hammer and knocked on her skull with it. Her ears were buzzing, but her head felt clear again, like these tears had been what clogged up her mind and heart, and now that they were gone she could function again.

Scorpius sat next to her, watching her. She still saw the anger there, hidden away behind his awkward concern. The moment he knew she was fine, she knew, he would explode, his anger heated by his concern. She took a deep breath and pressed her palms to the sockets of her eyes, temporarily relieving the pressure that had built up there.

"Go on," she said. "Say what you wanted. I won't cry any more."

He moved and his robes bristled.

"You are such a stubborn fool," he said. "So ineradicable stupid." His voice gained anger with each passing word.

"I told you. Why don't you ever listen to me? I told you your head is messed up right now and yet still you insist on doing it yourself. Are you really as arrogant as to think that because it's you, it wouldn't affect you? Or did you just want to give them a show? Well, did you like it? Do you like how they are going to talk about you now? Dammit. Did you even fucking think about what you were doing?

It felt like she was shrinking with each word he uttered. She pressed her back against the wall, hoping that maybe she could disappear through it.

"Do you ever?"

He sighed and she knew he had calmed down now that he had said what he wanted to say and there was nothing more to be gained with his anger.

She looked up. Light hurt her eyes and her cheeks were still wet. His hand roughly wiped them. It hurt.

"I just want you to listen to me for once."

"I listen," Rose said.

"Really listen."

"Fair enough," Rose admitted. "I will."

He looked sceptically, and Rose knew she had ignored him one time too many. "I really will."

He nodded, not completely satisfied. Now her head was clear again, Rose looked around at where they were. It was in the dungeons, halfway on the way from the great hall to the common room. A great black armour that many'er seventh years had used to scare first years stood opposite Rose, looking down on her. A small portrait of a witch with a stern face was hung next to it, and the witch quickly looked away when Rose met her eyes, pretending she had not noticed the two of them yet. Rose hope she wasn't one of the gossiping portraits. You'd be surprised how much of the gossip that went around Hogwarts was spread by the portraits that hung at every corner.

"It's not a bad thing to accept help." Scorpius broke the silence. Rose eyes snapped to him. Scorpius had sat down next to Rose at Some point and was looking at his hand.

"You're one to talk."

A muscle in his face twitched and his jaw clenched. Rose looked away, muttering an apology.

"Well, apparently someone needs to tell you, judging on your behaviour. You act like it's a crime to depend on another person for more than the simplest tasks like a school assignment, and even then you try not to."

Rose bit back her snarky reply.

"Because as you saw today, you clearly can't do it all by yourself."

Rose bit her lip in frustration. She would not bite back. She would not fight back. She would sit here like an obedient dog and listen to what he had to say because she promised she would.

"And I know I am not the best person to tell you this,"

Her nails dug in her palms. Don't say it.

"But fuck, Rose, someone has to say it, and if no one else is going to, I must."

"Oh fuck off Scorpius," Rose snapped. "I get it. I am a twat unable to trust anyone."

"I said nothing of the sorts, stupid," Scorpius said, "don't act like such a brat. you don't like to depend on people. You trust…" He sighed and messed up his hair. "You trust too much. Too quickly."

Rose rolled her eyes and looked away from him, inspecting the profile of the witch in the portrait.

"I just don't want to be a bother," Rose said.

"Stop that," Scorpius said, and he grabbed her chin, forcing her to face him. She glared at him.

"Stop what?"

"Stop acting like a victim. It looks bad."

"I am not!" Rose said, "I am trying not to be a fucking victim here."

"And yet here you are, playing one anyway."

"I am not a victim." Rose said, grabbing his shirt with one hand in frustration. She looked ready to punch him.

"Prove it then," Scorpius said, not reacting to her hostile advance. "Prove that you can stand up for yourself. The next time someone tosses you around, don't duck your head, say some snarky words and try to run for it, hoping they will forget about you. This time, spit in their face and walk away with your head held high. At least try."

Rose's temper went out as quickly as it had flared up. "You're talking about my cousins."

"I'm talking about everyone who tosses you around without a second thought."

"I don't want to make a scene."

"And what did you call that thing you did in the great hall just now?

"I call it a mistake and I will kindly let you do _everything_ from now on, so can't you shut up about that for one moment?"

Scorpius smiled - smirked. "Like that," he said. "Why is it that you can only snap like that at me?"

Rose said nothing.

When Scorpius remained quiet as well, Rose stood up. Her legs were still wobbly. "Why is it that you can smile at me?"

Scorpius smiled and nodded. "So if I will learn how to care, will you learn how to stand up for yourself?" He asked.

"I never said such a thing." Rose said, turning around, bracing herself for the walk ahead.

"They won't stop until you make them," Scorpius said. He took her hand to stop her from leaving.

"I am tired of being pushed around," Rose admitted, "but I don't think I have it in me to stop them."

"Al right," Scorpius said with steel in his voice. He let go of her hand. "Be my guest. Play the victim. Change nothing. Maybe next time they will break your rib through their carelessness, or your spine. Maybe they will mess up your exam, or they will just break some more family ties. Or they could spread rumours, not like the silly rumours they spread now. Real rumours that would give you a real reputation. See if I care."

Rose wrapped her arms around herself. "I don't want to become like you." Only aware of how horrible the words she had said to her best friend were, after she had said them.

Scorpius let out a bitter laugh. Rose wondered if she had hurt him. She wasn't sure if she could, but then again, she wasn't just 'some random skank that didn't even know him'. She was his friend, and a throwaway comment like that from him would without a doubt break her heart.

"Of course you don't. But accepting my help and growing a backbone doesn't do that. Don't worry. It takes much more than that." He did not sound effected by her words.

"So you are offering your help?" Rose asked.

"If I let you try alone, you will probably run the first chance you get."

"Is that a yes?" Rose asked.

"Is it a yes on your part?" Scorpius countered.

Nodding, Rose turned around. Scorpius was still sitting on the floor. Rose extended her hand to help him get up. Scorpius took it and pulled, trying to get up. A moment later, Rose fell down. The big squishy from of Scorpius saved her from crashing into the wall. Her nose felt sore and her head felt ready to blow into bits. She must have crashed down head first into him when she lost her footing because he had pulled too hard. She closed her eyes. She was tired. The long walk to the great hall had already exhausted her, and now that her anger had subsided, she felt how much toll it had laid on her.

"Rose?" Scorpius asked. She felt his hand on the back of her head. Her hair must have been a mess by then. It felt nice.

She opened her eyes and placed her hands against his chest. She tried to lift herself up to her feet and failed. "I'm tired, Malfoy," she muttered against his chest. "I can't get up." Her cheek was pressed against his chest and she was sliding down a bit. It was deforming her face.

"I'm tired."

Scorpius sighed and stood up, pulling her up along with him. "You really ought to look out for yourself," he sighed, and hoisted her over his shoulder before she fell down again.

She looked at his back, not the least bit surprised. It wasn't very comfortable. It was hard to breath and her stomach hurt a bit because Scorpius' shoulder was digging into it, but it beat walking.

"You're the one that made me fall," she mumbled. He laughed and slapped her on the arse before walking away with her.

Rose felt like it should have offended her. Both the slap on the arse and the carrying her around over his shoulder shit. Maybe she would have been if he hadn't hoisted her over his shoulder like this every time she had upset him when they had been younger.

* * *

**AN: This was so incredibly hard to write, and I'm still not sure if it flows right. I hope it does, but these things, serious things, are difficult to describe and even more difficult to convey. **

**Please, tell me what you thought of it.**


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